When i was bathing... I feel like coming back here to blog about it. So this is like what happened...
Yesterday was a good meet with HLSG. Was abit screwed at start cos of the rain and also something really happened. However, this doesnt stop us from meeting even the rain. And because of hd drop a visit at jess place, i got myself a free ride to town. Really appreciate hd for the picking up and sending. Thank you. Before i meet hd, i am kinda of abit worried cos we haven seen each other for quite sometime plus i dont really contact each other. Well, in fact i am really wrong. Once i pop into the car, we just have things to talk. The feeling just come back. Of course we started off talking about jess cos was quite worrying about her. Soon later we were on a converstation on this:
friendship with us more or with colleagues more?
His ans is us. Okay abit dont understand.
Because for me, i spend 1/3 of my time in the office. And somehow or rather i feel that they understand me more. They know whats really going through in my life now. I feel closer to them.
So he ask me this question "How do i feel when i go out with them after work"
Okay this question really wake me up! I told him i feel werid. I dont feel easy.. At least when i was with HLSG i feel more confortable. I feel more happy. I am more natural. So i realise this: In fact, is doesnt matter how long we dont talk how long we dont see each other, but because our friendship is already there. Is not so easy overwrite by those colleagues. There is period of time when i am so engaged in talking to this colleagues. I even go out with him. And even there is a certain point of time i feel that he knows me the best. And well i do enjoy talking to him also. But in fact, he knows me the best is because i talk to him. I tell him whats happening in my life. He didnt overwrite anyone as i thought it does. Is just that at that point i choose to tell him because he was there. And now we dont talk for months already. He is kinda of drift away from me. Even the issue i am having he also dont know cos i dont feel comfortable telling him. And now i understand it. And the most important things is i maintain this blog when none of the colleagues knows about it. And right now i am thinking about it should i tell them about my blog address? Well my ans is so fast that is no. The reason is they arent there enough to read my blog. Well.. another way of undersatanding myself now.
Really have a good time with the rest yesterday. Gerald and E-lynn looks so happy and same goes to hz and hd. The most happy thing is we were talking about our Korea Trip. Through the convo, i realised one thing, actually they have a good time going out with us during the trip when both of us feel at the certain pt feel not so happy. So it kinda of a expectation for the trip. Like their expectation is abit lower, so they do enjoy the trip and feel good about it. But our expectation is abit higher so during the trip at least i dont feel very happy. In fact, we talking about going kelong. But the 2 guys just straight aways just say NO. You all cant tahan the toliet. We dont wan to hear you all complain so at the first place we shouldnt go there. And they say we should go some place that, u all can tahan de toliet. Is like the way of compromising us, really make me feel touched. And because they compromise us. This even make more feel like going kelong. And forgo all the CMI toliet thingy. And i just realiseed life is about compromising. Especially towards the loves one. Because we love them we compromised. Just like yesterday, we compromise each other. Thats why it turns out to have a good talk and a good meet. Well, I always scared to give in. I am just afraid that i will lost out. I dont dare to give my 101% effort on it cos i scare wont get the result. I always have the pride thing in myself. But come and think of it. Why not take a step back. Isnt abit better? Why do i need to have hard feeling about it? If cannot step one back then step 2 instead. Is about compromising. And when i am here talking about compromising, it remind me of the white card and olive incident. Well it is pretty true, alot of time i can just stop the argurement cos his logic is already delievered. And dont need to be stubborn about it. And it seems that is too late to realise all these.... Because things already happened. However, i strongly believed it will help me with dealing with other people in the future.
E-lynn told me she fall in love with gerald is because he is loyal to his friends. So he wouldnt feel jealous about him treat his friend good. So this question also come into me. What really i fall in love with him. So if that is the thing i fall in love with him then why is this thing causing a big crack in the rs. Wow... this is super amazing...
No comments:
Post a Comment